类型: IC
作者: the pokemon kid
发布时间:
2021-04-01 05:39:00
更新时间: 2021-04-01 06:14:06
原链接:
https://geekhack.org/index.php?topic=112038.0
After many hours of design and testing, Myself and a crack
team of enthusiasts were finally able to make the impossible
possible.
Countless hours were spent, painstakingly
cracking the genetic code of the keyboard to allow us to
splice baked beans directly into the keyboard’s DNA,
enabling us to make the world’s first Baked Bean/ Keyboard
hybrid. The bringing of two great hobbies together. With
great honour I am able to announce today, The Glorious
Bean!
Background of the project
While
much of the science will be hidden as this is a patent
pending technology, we can share some details on how we were
able to make this dream a reality.
The first step for
us to work out a way of getting the beans into the metal.
After many failed attempts, Salvun stumbled upon a method of
transmogrifying the beans directly into the metal. This
process changed the paradigm which is bean/ keyboard
research. From here we were able to increase the strength of
the process allowing us to use undiluted bean juice directly
spliced with the aluminiums DNA to give us the aerospace
grade bean aluminium or Beanuminium (Or beanuinum if you’re
American).
We began our investigations with Tesco’s own brand
baked beans, as these as we all know have the worst bean to
sauce ratio and worked our way slowly towards the grail of
the beanmunity (Bean community) which is Heinz’s 1992 baked
bean formula. At first we had a high failure rate with this
process as the power of the 1992 formula was just too strong
for the grade of aluminium used, however Salvun once again
realised going from normal coolant to tomato sauce would
allow them to be cooled more effectively and thus increasing
the yield.
Design of the case
The
design of the case has been made with a bean reservoir in
mind, enclosing the beans inside the case with a small piece
of acrylic to sit over the top, sealing the goodness inside.
This allows you to fill the keyboard up with your favourite
beans. In testing we have found that the type of beans used
changes the case attributes, allowing for much better sound
isolation due to inherent resonance cancelling phenomena
within the beans and an improved typing experience because
of vibration dampening properties. Plus, if you get hungry
while at work, you can crack open your board for a fresh
serving of your favourite dish.
The keyboard has an 11
degree typing angle. As many of you know, I like it to turn
things up to 11 to get that little extra out of my
projects.
The only choice for us in terms of side
height was to go with a high profile. In testing we lost
32.333 repeating (of course) percent of the beans because of
their laminar flow.
What we are offering
The cellular sublimation process turns the whole case
orange currently. This is because of the dominant bean
molecules which we are putting into the material. We have
tried anodising over the orange finish but it just doesn’t
take, however the bean coating upgrades the case’s strength
and is now taking the case to 11 on the MOHS scale which is
harder than diamond. What can I say… beans strong.
However while testing we were able to look towards
other bean products to expand the line. we are able to
release a case for those in the super niche coffee
community. We thought that we (being the dominant bean
community) could give a bit of love to other, smaller
communities. This case has had the same process applied as
above but instead of baked beans we were able to splice
Coffee beans into the case. While the finish may not be as
strong, it provides the user with direct contact
caffeination which is proven to increase productivity
throughout the day.
Pricing and Raffling
The kit
will start at the modest price of $834.25 and include a tin
of your favourite off the shelf beans (gourmet and artisan
beans will not be considered). This is inline with other
high end keyboards of this calibre.
The group buy will
be limited to ten places. The raffle process will be
undertaken via the standard beanmunity method; closest
guesses to the number of beans in a standard can of Heinz
win. If anyone guesses the number precisely, they will be
given our highest honour; the title of head bean. This title
will last one calendar year and will require a swearing in
ceremony.
The preorder of the Glorious Bean will be
limited to the UK (excl. Northern Ireland) making this a GB
GB GB. The raffle will begin on 20/04/2021 at high noon.
Commendations from industry leaders
Heinz - A true visionary in the beanology sector
Campbells
- 5/7 - Bean product of the year!
Branston - They are
the Tesla of beans
Bushs - 10/10 - Would bean again
Thanks
for your time! May the beans be with you!
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